My Life as a Teenage…Teenager

People generalize. The irony of this became apparent very quickly.

You all will probably think I’m crazy for this, but that’s okay, because most of you have already reached that conclusion. Anywho, have you seen the toothpaste/toothbrush commercials? The subject (or as I would say, victim) takes the tube of toothpaste and squeezes out just enough to cover the toothbrush…perfectly! But when I attempt to duplicate theses feats of daring do, I wind up with the fate that herring do. Which means that I end up with about 3/4 of the toothbrush covered on top, and the rest of the toothpaste goes on the side, where I am forced to employ my tongue. This is the latest from my derailed train of thought.

On the morn before Christmas,
In the family room,
my father said to me,
“Jeremy, when you’re older,
and you can’t stand me,
I hope you’ll think back to this morn,
on which you still hugged me,”
and to this I replied (quite jokingly),
“Yes, I will, and I shall think,
I was so naive then!”

“You see: me, I’m dishonest and a dishonest man you can always predict to be dishonest. It’s the honest ones you have to watch out for, because you can never predict when their going to do something…stupid.”
Jack Sparrow

“A wizard is never late. Nor is he early. He always arrives exactly when he means to.”
Gandalf

I have developed (my parents and others would probably use concocted here) a theory about toys. It’s not that profound, but I should probably say something worthwhile before you all die of boredom. My theory is that girls eventually give up on toys and put their interests in other things like make up, books, and music. Now, guys will get a book or buy a cd now and then, but we mainly just get more and more expensive toys, such as boats and video games. Sure, some ladies collect beanie babies and dolls, but guys never get past the toy phase. However, any reference to a gameboy or a yacht involving the word toy is not recommended, as it can damage the owner’s feelings and can result in a loss of hearing for anyone within a one mile radius.

Lasers, in the ancient world of the Aztecs is just a fantasy. More so robots, in that time. Aztec warriors using Plasma artillery is a ridiculous. Do you think any of this is realistic? You have laser weaponry and other weapons from over 2 milleniums later. What’s up with that?
*This is all taken from a Video Game

That’s right, corn beef. Smells weird and I don’t like it. why is it called ‘corn beef’ anyway? It’s beef, but there’s no corn in it, and yet people call it corn beef! I like corn, i like some kinds of beef, but corn beef is not the food for moi.

When you jump off a bridge you ask yourself, did I suspend my bungee cord? You just realize that you didn’t because you’re wet, you don’t know why, until you see water surrounding you at all sides! Danger, Danger!!
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